Never ask a Lady that

So I decided to finally go and get a library card, after having moved almost a year ago.
'How old are you?' the library clerk asks me.
The world stops. I stand there like a deer in the headlights. What am I supposed to say? My mind is a complete blank. I have no idea how old I am! I've never been good with math in my head so trying to figure it out from my birthday is going to take me half a century. The clock is ticking. The clerk is staring at me. I have to say something! Then as my mind is still groping around in the amnesiatic dark I hear my mouth spit out "21." Not untill several sentenses later, in the middle of a surprised "you don't look that old" speech does it occur to me 'wait a moment, what did I say? that's not how old I am! umm.... that would be, oh yeah, 24.' But what am I supposed to do? say "wait a minute, actually I'm 24, I don't know why I said 21, but I really do know how old I am, and yeah, that's how old I really am, really." If 21 was pushing it, how on earth could I be convinceing with 24? Feeling too stupid to try to correct myself I just took the card and made a run for it. Oh well.

Bee Season Open

Around our appartment complex there are a number of Trumpet/Lily type bushes (I’m not good with plant names). The bees love them. You walk down the little garden path and it sounds like you’re in a computer lab complete with buzzing florescent lights. The strange thing is, these bees seem to be dropping like flies. It’s quite treacherous for us bare-footers when the sidewalk is peppered with little booby-trapped corpses resting in peace with stinngers pointed up toward that big rose garden in the sky. Going down to check the mail has become reminiscent of Indianna Jones adventures, you have to watch your step and watch for things whizzing past your head at the same time. Is there some kind of Bee Pleague going around? Poisoned flowers? Homicidal stealth wasps protecting their territory from squatters? -Or how about this: the killer poisoned the bees and placed them on the sidewalk path expecting his target to step on them and then appear to have died from a severe allergic reaction to bees!