Conspicuosity

Ever want to carry something on your head, or spontaneously leap with a surge of energy? Ever want to dance or sing? Ever realise you’re going the wrong way and keep going or take the long way ‘round ‘cause you’d look silly stopping in your tracks and doing an about face? Ever want to wear some hat, or something unusual just ‘cause you like it, but feel like it’d be too odd or ‘innapropriate’?
And do you ever wonder if perhaps the eyes you feel watching you are only your own?

It seems as though so many of our urges and quirks are reigned in and kept hidden by this pervasive social fear that one might draw negative or unwanted attention. But really, does it matter at all what people you will never see again think of you? Or even, that those you regularly encounter should know what you’re really like? I wonder how much of the pressure we feel to conform is really something we place on ourselves individually out of fear of rejection...or of simply standing out and drawing the eyes of others.

I’ve never been one to take much note of the people around me, and yet I too am subject to these, perhaps immagined, social fetters. Sometimes they win, and I always feel ashamed for it, but most of the time I break free. I’m not saying that we should be inappropriate, tactless, insensitive, and solely lead by our fleeting desires, but we’e put muzzles on dogs that don’t bite and taken the wheels off our wagons lest we should happen to steer them the wrong way. Of course one should be mindfull of others, and yet, not mindfull in that debilitating way of fearing what they may or may not think, which is completely unrelated to caring about causing them trouble. So I say, do not clip your own wings! Let thyself fly! Release the joy, the energy, the individuality you have! That’s one of the great things about kids, the don’t worry themselves overmuch abotu stuff like that, they feel free to have fun. I can’t immagine why we think it’s more mature to prevent oneself from enjoying life. And you know....I bet people would be a bit more fit too if they wouldn’t keep themselves always in ‘dignified,’ stiff, unexciting poses and actions.

As I go through the day I find that I naturally stand in ‘odd’ positions which may look rather like I’m trying to pose, but really it just feels comfortable or fits what I’m thinking/feeling. Especially when I visit museums....or when I’m browsing grocery store isles, lol.....I tend to move differently than ‘normal’ people. Hmm....a bit more dancelike I guess...in slow-mo. I seem to naturally move my feet through ballet positions....yeah, it’s not like I was really in dance much, and I did that before I took classes, interesting..... I also tend to lean back and forth or to the side wierd, and rest my arms strangely, hehe. *shrug* ...hard to explain I guess, but I don’t like to just stand there normal like most people. I guess I never really understood why standing out is such a horrible thing to some people. It’s not that I’m wanting to attract attention by what I do or wear, I just don’t care if people happen to notice. I usually just ignore whatever attention I’m getting, I figure if they feel like gawking that’s their business. And besides, I rather hope I can show other’s it’s ok to be ‘wierd’ and inspire them to feel free to do the same =)

so yes! go and feel free to be conspicuous!