It seems to me that as a culture we are generally very bad at knowing what it is that we want when we feel that we want something. I wonder why this is.
Perhaps we introspect too little? Because of being busy? Because of being distracted by constact noise and immages? Because people who spend quiet time alone are considered boring and strange? Because somehow we don't know how to keep our own company and feel compelled to always be out with others in order to have a good time? Because we are afriad of discussing deep personal things, like inner desires, with these others we spend our time with? Who knows.
Or perhaps because we are constantly subjected to being told that we want things from commercials and other sales tactics. So that either we aren't used to coming up with the answer of what we want ourselves, having it always told us from the outside, or we are constantly having the feeling of want arroused so that we begin to deal with it almost subconciously so that we can get on with other things. Instead of pausing every time to determine whether the source of the want is within or coming from without, and analysing what exactly we are in want of, we have a set of automatic fullfillment responces which can be selected with little thought or energy.
Thus our lives become overstuffed with fillers while still remaining relatively empty. In fact, sometimes the things that do fullfill us get pushed away or disconnected from our lives just to make room for more stuffing.
Such quick-fix stuffings are frequently food of various kinds, or money, or stuff that one buys through un-premeditated shopping. And here we come to, what I think is, the reason why we see the 'inexplicable' despare and emptiness of people living in a land where even the homeless have more things than could be brought on a plane without an extra fee, where obesity is found even among (and possibly especially among) the poor classes, where there is such abundance of physical provision far beyond the basic needs for survival. It would seem that people are taught culturally to ignore their true desires and inner needs in favor of the misguided persuit of Stuffing.
1 comment:
This is what Laurel Mellin (in a book called The Pathway) calls having your wires crossed. People without the basic nurturing and limit-setting skills that she talks about in the book often take a need, like a need for companionship, and try to fill it with something else, like food. The wires are crossed. You have to retrain yourself, consciously think about how you're feeling and what you need, and then fill it with the proper thing instead of your addiction of choice. ::sigh:: Sometimes I think everyone should read that book. Then I think no, some people are healthy already, and so they don't really need it. And then I look at our world again and change my mind! =)
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