Screenshots--Camera happy

My roomate Tracy introduced me to taking screen-shots of movies, and after she found a program that allowed one to do so, both of us spent hours slowly watching movies and taking pictures of all our favorite parts. I believe I have always had an artistic eye, and enjoyed taking pictures in real life as often as I had a chance, though that was seldom. This oppened a whole new field of photography so to speak, for one could take pictures of things which did not even really exist, and of people who were not standing squint-eyed and cheesy-smiled in front of half of the sign for the monument behind them. It got to be a rather adicting hobby. It was not as though there was anything we could actually do with all those pictures, even looking through them ourselves was not really going to happen often, but it was fun none the less to be able to stop and enjoy a specific moment of lighting or expression or scenery or composition, and perhaps sort through them all later to pick out a desk top picture. I think it makes one more aware of the artistic aspect of films, for whether or not the story was enjoyable or the acting good, a film may simply be beautifull or striking. After a while both of us said that we found ourselves wishing we could take ‘screenshots’ of life as it happened. I think I had always had this desire, though not quite so frequently.
Then my grandpa gave me a digital camera for graduation, making it possible - to some degree - to take ‘screenshots’ of life around me. I have indeed had a lot of fun taking pictures and would perhaps like to be a ‘Photographer’ in a more official sence than simply one who takes pictures. I would of course like to have a big fancy manual camera with cool lenses and all that sort of thing and be able to develop them myself, but those kinds of cameras are rather heavy to cary about and far more conspicuous when one is attempting to catch candid shots of people who are of the cheesy-smile shcool of thought, and it is far less expensive and much quicker to take a lot of photos on a digital camera and just download them and then sort out the not so good ones, than to buy film and pay for developing it or for the chemicals, photo paper, and equipment for doing so, and then actually take the time to develop the negatives and then make the pictures. I do really like being able to focus the camera myself. It’s nice to be able to make just one part very sharp and the rest more blured which automatic cameras don’t really let you do. Some people may think I’m crazy but I can easily take 200 pictures of a rosebush on a whim which would be absurd and impossible for someone of my funds to do with actual film. And anyway, I’m more interested in making desktop pictures for my computer with my photos than making scrapbooks, so I don’t exactly need to have them all actually printed out.
I am always on the lookout for beauty. My eyes home in on it everywhere I go. That is what makes life livable, being able to appreciate beauty. Now beauty is not limited to sight, there is beauty in movement and sound and touch and taste and smell and in the meanings of words (poetry, stories, philosophic ideas) and in the goodness of other people. There is beauty everywhere if you will look for it, though certainly there is a great deal of ugliness in the world which one must look past to find the beauty hidden amongst it. So all this will tell you my philosophy of photography which is that my aim is to capture images of beauty, images of things one can enjoy now in real life, but which being unable to truely repeat, would nevetheless wish to be able to enjoy again - which a picture allows you to do to some extent.
I have always found it most ridiculous that people should take most of their pictures of other people more as documentation than in captureing their beauty. In particular vacation pictures usually strike me as exceedingly stupid the way that most people seem to take them. Usually they are composed thus : someone is standing in the forground often squinting because at least they know it is better not to be backlit, and holding a cheesy, fixed sort of smile on their face which usually has a good deal of ‘I’m tierd, will you hurry up and take this picture’ in it, and behind them is some monument, place of natural beauty, hotel where they slept, restaraunt where they ate, or museum they went in being partially covered by the person who stands so dutifully in front of it to prove they were there, or for no other reason but that that is what one does for vacation pictures. What comes of it is that usually you have a good picture of neither the perseon nor the place they are at. It is trying to have two focal points really, and ends up as often as not as having none. These are usually terribly composed being either too ridgidly centered or too haphazard with no attention payed to what is really going on visually, just simply making sure that the two items are both inside the little rectangle. Often the person does not appear to be interacting with or connected to the place in the background, and they almost never appear to fit in with their surroundings as though they belong there, rather clashing in their appearance.
All my life whenever I have been on vacation I have been somewhat at odds with my mother, or other people, because I am always wanting them to get out of the way so I can take a picture. I pretty much take only pictures of scenery. When I do take pictures of people I want to take a picture of them specifically and do not want them to ‘go stand over there in front of that place so I can take a picture of it.’ I want it close up enough to be able to really see the person’s features, either that or I want to catch them in an action or position which captures their character or which looks particularly nice or interesting. However, it is usual for people to be too selfconcious of how they will look in pictures and either refuse to have their picture taken at all, espeically close up, or to suddenly feel so awkward that they loose whatever personality there was in their expression or pose and adopt a stiff, unnatural look and stance (or make some kind of a wierd face) and in so doing present their worst angle to the camera.
In general I don’t mind having my picture taken (unlike many people I know who like to take pictures partly because that means they are behind the camera). I really don’t like having to do the cheesy smile pictures though, they hardly turn out flattering. I’m no good at ‘silly’ shots either, I just don’t makes faces; well, I make plenty of faces for different occasions, like smelling burnt tuna, trying to figure out something that my mind doesn’t want to wrap itself around, being vexed at something that is not cooperating (sewing machines, school registrars' assistants, people that insist you have to wear shoes, items that like to hide themselves at the moment they are needed...) I think I can be quite expressive, but when you ask me to make some kind of face at the camera I just go blank, I can’t think of a face to make, and it’s just not me to make a faces. Often if I ask someone to take a picture of me somewhere they end up standing there waiting for some time, I guess thinking I’m distracted or composing myself or something just because I’m not looking at them, or not smiling. Somehow most people just don’t even think about taking a piture of someone who is not facing them with a smile.
Well I guess I have rambled about taking pitures long enough. I think some of this is a bit repetative, but oh well.